Having brought up my children the best way I could, these days I often sit and introspect as to what I could have done better. You can't be a parent again and the lessons that one learns in this exciting and arduous journey are immense. Possibly, one may think of applying these lessons as a grandparent, but more often than not, older people end up spoiling their grandchildren because of love. It is difficult for them to practise 'tough love', you see.
First thing, first. Although the tone of what I am going to write may sound condescending, yet let it be known that the intention is only to share the mistakes that I may have made or observed others making them, and thus help the reader.
As in the past, parents these days too are so damn busy in earning their livelihood and doing hundred other things that they often end up neglecting one of the most important responsibility of their life. Though there are so many things that parenting involves, I am going to concentrate today primarily on the academic aspect and a little bit on miscellaneous issues.
When I look around at one of the common attributes of successful people, I find that almost all of them have a beautiful handwriting. Barrack Obama, Winston Churchill and some others come to mind. Besides indicating clarity of thought, a good hand helps a lot in getting good marks in school and fetches a better assessment from the examiners when one has to write long subjective answers during the competitive exams. After all, who likes to read a badly scribbled note. There is no harm in picking up those handwriting practice books once again for your 'lakhte-zigar', irrespective of her age. I still insist on it with my children, though lately they have stopped listening to me. Learning calligraphy could also help in this effort.
Mathematics is another area that must be paid attention to.Ideally during the younger age, abacus classes and shortcuts by Shakuntla Devi must be learnt; however, it is never too late to start all this at any age. Get a good tutor for your child who can take regular classes, as practise and habit are important. Leaving the task for the father as a weekend job will not help. He too needs to unwind after a hectic week. RS Agarwal's book on Quantitative Aptitude may be picked up again by students who have finished 12th class.
All work and no play would for sure make Jack a dull boy.Sports are very important in life as they teach you to be humble in victory and graceful in defeat. Life is a battle and this great lesson that one learns helps overcome the hurdles one faces as an adult.While individual games develop a person's individuality and determination, I personally would advocate team games, as they in addition develop teamwork which is so very essential in today's world. My favourite author Stephen Covey has said that 'inter-dependence is a higher value than independence'. Smart and confident people seek help from others rather than insisting on doing things all by themselves. This is where team sports help.
Reading is a habit that is best developed in childhood. This is best done by the mother at bed-time. Besides improving diction and creating a mother-child bond, it helps in inculcating in the child a deep and abiding passion for reading. Reading to my mind develops a person's faculties like nothing else. It is never too late to start. Although I was very fond of books; yet, in school the habit could not develop because of PCMB. It's only around 21 that I found some free time to indulge in this hobby . One must not restrict only to English, as our regional literature also has phenomenal to offer.
It is also very important to teach the children to keenly observe nature and the environment around. Most of us do nothing better than sleepwalking all our life. Except for names of a few trees, birds and flowers, our knowledge on life around us is 'zilch'. Keen observation will help the children in understanding our connection with the nature around us.Somehow it is a great stress- buster as well. Appreciating the sweet song of the cuckoo or the zigzag flight of the colourful and glossy butterfly on a sunny day works wonder for our mental well-being.
Appreciation for arts and music will only come if one takes time out to take the children to art shows, museums and music fests.
Teaching children dignity of labour and making them sensitive to the needs of the lesser fortunate are other aspects that must not be lost
sight of. Regarding the latter, I am often reminded of these lines from a famous author...
"The tallest oak in the forest is the tallest not just because it grew from the hardiest acorn; it is the tallest also because no other trees blocked its sunlight, the soil around it was deep and rich, no rabbit chewed through its bark as a sapling, and no lumberjack cut it down before it matured."
