Expression

There is a world within all of us, hidden from almost everyone, that is looking for a way to find expression. While some of us are able to express our true feelings the way we really feel, the majority of us lack that ability. When I listen to Galib, I wonder not only at the depth of feelings that this man possessed, but I also marvel at the beautiful manner in which he was able to put it all across. Was this man able to do it impromptu, or did he write, edit and then finally refine. I for one would like to believe that he must have been able to do it without really doing what most of us lesser mortals need to do. Richness of Urdu language, besides the fact that he wrote in a language that was his mother tongue must have helped for sure. Same was the case with Shakespeare, Keats, Wordsworth, Milton and many others. Does that mean that we can do better if we restrict ourselves to one language, preferably the mother tongue? Is this also the reason for there being so much of creative writing by people who write in their mother tongue? We mess it up, or at best do a sub-optimal job every time, because our thoughts are in the mother tongue, while we try to write in a different language.But then, what is our confidence level in the mother tongue itself? 

I Pulled the Chain!

Being jettisoned into the hot and humid weather of Coimbatore was not the only misfortune to strike me, after I left the salubrious climes of Wellington behind, on completion of the Air Staff Course in the summer of 2006. On this warm balmy day in April, I was to catch a train from Coimbatore for Bangalore. I had spent the previous night at Air Force Administrative College, and awaited the arrival of an auto rickshaw that was to take me to the railway station. As often happens in this part of the world, the auto came late, and we had no choice but to rush to the railway station at a breakneck speed. I was heavily loaded with luggage, and the burden appeared even more, because I was recovering from a broken knee that was a result of the misplaced composure of the steed, during one of the hack rides in the virgin Ooty hills. I reached the station about 2 minutes late, and as I entered the platform from where my train was to depart, I saw a train rumbling along. Considering myself extremely lucky at having executed the RV despite being late, I struggled on to the train with a limping gait. Since the bogies were connected, I decided to find my way to the AC coach later, and therefore boarded the first bogie that was rushing along. I was much relieved at having made it, or so I thought...

The train would have just left the station premises, when in an effort to strike a polite conversation I asked a fellow passenger the arrival time at Bangalore. “Bangalore, what Bangalore? This train doesn’t go there ...”The impact of this statement was nothing short of a ton of bricks falling on my head. “Oh! My God!,  I have boarded the wrong train...and that too at this stage of life”, I thought to myself. I could never ever imagine myself doing such a stupid thing. But then life has a way of reminding us that you can never be too smart. So what next? Well, I decided to pull the chain and that too with all the passengers looking at me.  The train screeched to a halt-thankfully. I managed to get down with a lot of difficulty, since the ground was lower now without the platform. The broken knee only complicated the matters. I wonder if the brains of Faujis reside there. Mine for sure on this day must have been there, and I do not know if it was still there, as the knee was broken...

 I had a hearty laugh over myself, but then I had to worry about boarding the right train. So, here I was once again limping along towards the platform, though at a faster speed. The platform would have been about 300-400 meters away, and was fortunately in sight. As I was making my way towards the platform, I saw the TT and the Guard making their way towards the bogie from which the chain had been pulled. They were hoping to catch the offender. After they had crossed me and were at least 50 metres away, my conscience pricked me and said, “Have you not caused enough inconvenience to the passengers by doing what you did. Why don’t you own up now, and reduce this pain for the Indian Railways?”So I turned back in the opposite direction, called out on top of my voice to the guard and said, “Excuse me, I pulled the chain.”

On hearing this, the TT probably experienced something which he would have never ever experienced in his life. His joy knew no bounds, while I was about to face the impact of almost falling from the top of a skyscraper. The TT lost no time in snatching my ticket, and decided not to give it back to me, despite all my pleadings. By this time the right train that I was to board had just pulled in. Well! By now I was all drenched in sweat from head to toe, more from the worry on account of missing the train that I was to really board, and less from the heat.  The TT had missed seizing me for good, and wouldn’t have been able to catch me if I had not owned up. But he didn’t seem to appreciate this fact, and was intent on showing me his power. On seeing my helpless situation, a Good Samaritan who looked like an NRI intervened on my behalf, in what seemed to be chaste Tamil to me, and only then did I get my ticket back. I was really relieved and thanked this angel who turned up out of thin air at a time when I needed him the most. I thanked him profusely. His parting advice to me that I have still not forgotten was, “Why did you have to be so honest. This is India and honesty doesn’t work here.” Well! It will remain a moot point whether honesty works or not. My own experience barring this one has been that it always does. But whether a person should own up after pulling the chain, lesser said the better.........

Atttachment

Buddha has said, and so has Krishna that attachment is the cause of all sorrows, and if a person wants to live a happy life, he must learn to be detatched.Many years ago when our son was under treatment for a heart ailment and we used to find ourselves absolutely helpless, I often used to wonder that is it really possible for  a person to be detached from what is happening to his world. I have realized over the years that although a person may cultivate a degree of detachedness towards the material aspects of life , and I feel that I have been able to do so to  a great extent,yet doing the same towards those whom you love is next to impossible. It is like one of those advices that are so impractical. If it were so easy to be detached towards your kith and kin, won't you attain Nirvana?

One of my Favourite Poems

Absence, hear thou my protestation Against thy strength, Distance and length: Do what thou canst for alteration; For hearts of truest mettle Absence doth join, and time doth settle. Who loves a mistress of such quality, He soon hath found Affection's ground Beyond time, place, and all mortality. To hearts that cannot vary Absence is present, time doth tarry. By absence this good means I gain, That I can catch her Where none can watch her, In some close corner of my brain. There I embrace and kiss her, And so I both enjoy and miss her.                    -John Moses Hoskyns